Gov. Schwartznegger and 1st Lady's Women's Conference by Linda Grasso

 

         I just returned from the California Governor and First Lady’s Conference on Women in Long Beach. It was a worthwhile adventure (thank you Tracy Berglass for inviting me!).  In addition to meeting some wonderful women, I got to hear life experiences and wisdom from some of the most brilliant, brave dynamic women in the world - Condoleezza Rice, Madeleine Albright, and Gloria Steinem to name a few.  Okay, there were a few men, but they weren't just tokens.  Warren Buffet, Bono, Michael J. Fox and Russell Simmons were also speakers. There was also formidable star power if you’re into that kind of thing – with Heidi Klum, Sally Field, Jenny McCarthy and Jennifer Lopez.

         The best thing about the conference, in my opinion, is that the speakers let down their guards with an intimacy one rarely sees. There was no posturing or pretense.  It was all about being candid and, at times, brutally honest.  My only regret is that I didn’t bring along some of the important women in my life – like my sisters, and my mother (a single mom who raised four kids while getting a two degrees, working full time throughout). 

      I thought about how much the event would have also resonated with several of my closest friends, many of whom, like me, are trying to find their path, having bagged hard-earned top careers for their families – but who are now grappling with the issue of reinventing themselves as their kids have grown.   I couldn’t help but think how much all these females would have loved hearing these accomplished women share about their tough choices, day-to-day challenges and sometimes poignant regrets.

     Imagine hearing the intimate thoughts from  a woman like Indra Nooyi (above with Shriver).  She's the well-spoken chairwoman and chief executive of Pepsi, which operates in 200 countries and employs 185,000 people.  She talked about always feeling different than most of the moms at her children's events; wearing a suit all the time, pulling out her blackberry constantly,  etc.   She told the story of one day pulling over to the side of the road after dropping her daughter at school when she was suddenly hit with a daunting realization “Oh my God, she’s fifteen!  Where did it all go? I pulled over and just cried right there”.  When moderator Campbell Brown generously offered “but your daughter probably doesn’t have feelings of missing out ...right? …..Indra paused.  She then refused to take Brown's hall pass, “I'm not sure.  But I think she did.  I think at times she wishes she had a good mother - the kind always there.”

      The overriding message: no matter how rich, famous or successful, we all face the same challenges. We are all merely human – with more similarities than differences.  And we all make choices - with consequences.

        The “Breakout Session” topics were diverse – ranging from Mary Tillman, mother of the late Pat Tillman talking about how to “Overcome the Imaginable” to Susan Ford Bales and Leeza Gibbons on "How to be the Ultimate Caretaker: Alzheimer's, Cancer and Aging Parents." One particularly emotional moment came when Maria Shriver talked about her biggest fears - ranging from her first child to leave for college ("I'm afraid - not for her but for me.  I'm afraid of the unknown"), to the death of her ailing mother ("I've loved this woman all my life.  And, all my life, I've been afraid that she would die"),  to possible negative reaction after switching gears and coming out in favor of Obama instead of Hilary. She said she could hear her husband's frustrated employees rolling their eyeballs, "What now Maria?  First it's Hilary, and now Obama?" She also spoke of her lifelong insecurities - feeling reluctant to share who she really is.  California's first lady quipped "I'm 52 years old!  If not now then when?"

       Another candid exchange - Condoleezza Rice expressing irritation when people always ask why she's single and insinuate her career is to blame, “Look, I have never married because I haven’t found a man I can marry and a man I can live with!”

      Over the next few days, I’ll share some highlights of the event.  I’m going to start with billionaire philanthropist Warren Buffet.  Here are some his comments at his Q & A with moderator Chris Matthews and Governor Schwartznegger.

 Should one stay in the stock market?

Yes.  This country has a long history of working.  You should stay in the market and continue buying wisely.  Buy stock from a company with a business or product so good that an idiot could run it. Someday and idiot probably will run it. We have a country like that!

 What do you think about executives who were enormous salaries before their companies went under?

I do not have a quarrel with CEO’s making a lot of money. I do, however, have a problem with people failing and making a lot of money.

 Any comments on the failure of Lehman Brothers?

I understand what Lehman Brothers was trying to do. They were trying to keep a virus from spreading basically.  But saving the top people was wrong.

 What do you think of this country’s past in terms of women in the workplace?

For two centuries this country has ignored half of its human potential.  It began to change with women’s right to vote in 1920.  1981 was another important milestone when a Supreme Court Justice got appointed for the first time.  But, before that, we ignored half our talent.  Now, for the first time, I believe we can fully unleash the human potential in the United States.

 My sisters were every bit as smart as me. But they were given a different message than me growing up.  They were not allowed to have the same destiny as me.  It was a terrible message!  Fifty years ago you would not want to be a woman.  Now, though, women are running for President. It has changed.  Hilary Clinton has done a lot for women in this country.